7?!

 Owen turned 7 yesterday. It seems like it has simultaneously been the blink of an eye and a lifetime since I was pregnant with him, so excited but nervous about what was to come after all of the miscarriages.

I can't imagine not knowing this kid. He just melts my heart with his kindness and intelligence and curiosity about the world. It's been a joy to watch him grow up and see how he has gone through starting school, playing more sports, and learning more about the wider world. If nothing else my aim is to give him a rock solid base of knowing that he is loved exactly how he is and the encouragement to go explore the world. And along the way to be kind and loving to others. That's it. 

We have had a few birthday celebrations so far, brought chocolate chip cookies into his school on Friday, then on his actual birthday on Sunday we had a family dinner (he got to pick the menu - cheeseburgers and ice cream sundaes!) and then we're having a party for the boys in his class on Saturday. Watching as the class sang happy birthday to him on Friday I could see so much of myself in him, as it was clear he wasn't the most comfortable standing up in front of everyone but at the same time felt special being up there. It's always the conflict right, that I want him to be his own person but at the same time I want to encourage him to do things differently than I did - ideally to be bolder and less nervous around crowds and to own the experience of being in front and to enjoy it.

Kid was so excited for his sundae that he went and got the candles out of the drawer himself so that we could get on with singing and get to the ice cream eating :) He is so great and I can't wait to see what the next year holds.

Slogging through to the end!

 Ran the marathon on Saturday - it was a crazy adventure. There was a huge rainstorm on Friday night which made the trail incredibly muddy - I felt like I was on one of the silly game shows like floor is lava because the mud was really just comical in how much of it there was and trying to run through it. People around me were slipping and sliding and nearly getting shoes sucked off and just getting ankle deep in mud left and right. At some point you just had to laugh because what else were you going to do?!

And then there were the stream crossings - I knew they said there would be 1-2 of them with the water being high after the storm, but there were probably 8-10 of them in total, one where I stepped in and the water was up over knee high.....needless to say my feet were soaked for 6+ hours which looked pretty knarly when I finally got my shoes and socks off.

Nonetheless, it was a ton of fun. I was nervous at the start but mostly similar to how I start out my long runs, but I felt good getting going and the first uphill I was pretty squarely in the middle of the pack where it was mostly walking uphill, which was good for getting warm. Once we got all the way up that first stretch was when the mud really hit, and then people were just going at various speeds trying to keep on their feet. The first 7-8 miles passed pretty quickly and I was happy with my pace, but then from there to mile 13 it felt like such a repetitive cycle of climbing up just to go back down to lake level and just slogging through. I think that was the hardest stretch for me up to the 13 miles, just knowing that I still had more than half to go. Once I got to that aid station at mile 13 I got some food and spent a few minutes stretching which was nice. Then set off again, and reached miles 15/16 pretty quickly - once I got to mile 15 I had in my mind that I had 10 to go, and I can grind through 10 on a bad day. My legs were starting to feel heavy at that point, and I had the idea to pop some of the advil I had in my pack - this made a huge difference taking the edge of for the next stretch.

There were 3-4 miles that were pretty nice, a bit more open meadow than the lakeside trail had been and a welcome change of pace. But I knew that the huge hill at mile 21 was coming, and just braced myself to keep going, even at a slow pace to make it up that thing. I somewhat mistakenly thought that after the big final hill it was mostly downhill, only to get the rude awakening that there were still some uphill stretches along with the most technical and rocky section of trail to go. That mile 23-25 stretch was tough. Legs were done, then got out of the trail to run some along the road with it raining, cold, and the wind blowing in my face. I was so ready to be done.

But, all in all I feel like I didn't have any super low moments during the race, I had times where I was tired but it felt like it would on a training run. And the extra 5 miles didn't seem so bad, I was tired at the end but certainly didn't feel terrible. And I did my usual protein shake, got a post race pizza which was delicious, and then went back to the hotel to rest and hydrate before dinner.

I told Jacob that I was amazed that only in early February I had run the half and really couldn't imagine doing double that mileage for a race, it's a little mind boggling to me to see how far I came being comfortable with long (over 13 miles) distances in just over 2 months of training.

Honestly, I loved doing the training and the race. I have a feeling there will be quite a few more to come!

Hola!

 Just returned from spring break. It was to some degree a “trip” with kids but also had some vacation elements as well as Jacob and I got out ourselves a bit.

Owen loved boogie boarding, we’ve reached the stage where he’s like a little fish and has to be convinced to come take a break after a few hours to get anything to eat or drink. And Charlie is just a party man, vacation suits him and can be summed up by the photo of him on the pool lounge with his arms behind his head looking totally at ease while he’s completely naked!

Probably the hardest part of traveling with him was the return flight where he decided to throw a tantrum and rolled around in the galley to the horrified looks of the flight attendants and managed to bang his head several times. But, otherwise he was really helpful overall and even rolled his own suitcase through the airport which was very cute.

But it was really a treat to spend the time with both boys; Owen even came to hear a singer at the bar next door to our house on the last night, his first bar concert experience. Overall it’s so much fun to be with them as they have these new experiences.

Go for it!

 I was thinking last night that I want to remember as my kids get older to balance any cautionary advice with encouragement to pursue big, challenging goals. 

As I’ve told more people about running the marathon I have gotten a lot of “be careful, don’t hurt yourself” and while I know that comes from a good place I also think that most of the people saying it also know that I won’t do anything to put my health in jeopardy. I’d love to also hear some “go for it!” thrown in there too. I imagine that some of the caution stems from me being a woman and a mom and there is at some level an expectation or idea that I shouldn’t be pursuing hard physical challenges. 

I can handle the comments, but I do want to find a way to remind myself to encourage the boys to stay safe but also to push their limits because that is where some amazing growth and perspective happens.

All the snuggles

 Jacob was out of town last weekend and Owen got to have “sleepovers” in my bed - pretty much his favorite thing is to have sleepovers with mom, dad or Mimi (grandma) if we’ll let him.

And despite my wanting a break from the kids and some time to myself I couldn’t say no to the guy and let him sleep there - at least it’s a king size bed!

Owen is for sure our cuddler and always wants time to snuggle with us in bed or on the couch, even though half the time he is a wiggle worm the entire time. I’ll take it for as long as it lasts.

20!!

 I ran 20 miles today. Well, hiked and ran. 3700 feet of elevation too. I don’t think I truly thought even 3 months ago that I could do this. But it’s been a really cool process where I feel like my confidence has built week by week and now I know that the marathon will be challenging but I think I can do it. 

The hardest part of the run today was the first few miles, my lower legs were really tight but I did my best to stay calm and tell myself that it was going to get better once I really got warmed up, which it did. And then miles 9-12 were a bit of a down stretch but then I got to 13,14, and then at 15 it was just 5 to go and the final 5 ticked by pretty quick (the last 1.5 was a bit of a struggle but I mostly expected that. What a cool feeling.

Wild times in the woods

 I ran into a bobcat on my run yesterday. Definitely gave me pause, especially when it didn’t move after I made some noise and tried to “seem big” which is the standard advice. He didn’t seem deterred and kept heading up the trail in the same direction I was headed, so I followed very slowly behind, not wanting him to think he was being chased.

I was scared but also knew that the likelihood that he would hurt me was small, but also wanted to keep in mind that he was a wild animal. Eventually another runner came down the trail toward me and scared the bobcat off into the brush. I watched my surroundings closely for the rest of my run for sure!

Running on the trail has become a really happy place for me and I’m continuously amazed that even when I’m grinding through a long run and my legs are tired I can pass 3 or 4 hours on the trail and feel like it went by in a flash.