It's been a tough week. I debated writing this post because it feels like a downer, but in the spirit of being honest on the blog here it is. So last week on the same day I found out that I was not pregnant and met my first niece, born about 2 weeks ago now. She is adorable and precious and I could not be happier for my sister in law and her husband, but it was definitely bittersweet and combined with a few other things out me into a funk for a few days (maybe still?). Again, I do NOT have any hard feelings towards my sis in law and her family, but just really made it hit home that I want so much for that to be me and my husband with the adorable little baby. Then last night I went to dinner with a few girls, 1 of whom is a few months pregnant and 2 who announced to the group last night that they were pregnant....talk about wanting to stick forks in my eyes! And they're not people I'm really close with, so except for one person don't know about my situation right now. And I'm happy for all of them, really, but I guess it's just where I am right now in life that it feels like absolutely everyone is pregnant and having babies. One of the girls even said "everyone is pregnant right now" and it's like...no.....I'm not....but wish I was. So, I got in the car and cried on the way home.....and then was mad at myself for crying because it's really nothing new.....but all I can do is wake up and try again today.
As for Dr update, we are doing the same regimen as last month which means I should know a bit before Christmas if I'm pregnant. If I'm not, we're most likely going to go ahead and do ivf for the next round.
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Thursday, November 20, 2014
Friday, November 7, 2014
Would it have been mean.....
I went back to the Dr office yesterday, I'm not sure really what for since all he told me was that I ovulated, which was fairly obvious since I had taken a shot a week prior to make me ovulate. Thanks captain obvious.
Anyways, I then got an hcg "booster" shot in case I am pregnant, and also as a mean trick to make me have to wait a full 2 weeks from the shot to take a pregnancy test, even though I would otherwise have been able to test 4-5 days sooner. So the nurse, after giving me the shot (in my ass, which ended up being so much more sore than the shots in my thighs or stomach, surprisingly) then says "this is the hardest part to wait". At the time, I was slightly annoyed and replied "yes, but at least I'll be busy" but in hindsight, when I am always much more clever, what i wish I had said was "no, the hardest part is waiting out the first trimester to see if I have another miscarriage". What do you think- would that have been too mean? But really, I feel like these nurses have no idea what my history is sometimes. I can see that for someone going to this doctor because they haven't been able to get pregnant than yes, it would be exciting and tough to wait to see if you're knocked up. But I've been there, done that three times now. While it will be exciting if it happens, I won't have any kind of sense of relief or reassurance just from getting a positive pregnancy test. I guess all I'd ask is that they out some kind of summary sheet on my chart, just a few lines that people can glance at before they treat me that says, in big letters, HAS HAD 3 MISCARRIAGES. Then at least we would all be on the same page.
Oh, and I'm not actually angry about this now, I'm case that's what it sounded like!
Anyways, I then got an hcg "booster" shot in case I am pregnant, and also as a mean trick to make me have to wait a full 2 weeks from the shot to take a pregnancy test, even though I would otherwise have been able to test 4-5 days sooner. So the nurse, after giving me the shot (in my ass, which ended up being so much more sore than the shots in my thighs or stomach, surprisingly) then says "this is the hardest part to wait". At the time, I was slightly annoyed and replied "yes, but at least I'll be busy" but in hindsight, when I am always much more clever, what i wish I had said was "no, the hardest part is waiting out the first trimester to see if I have another miscarriage". What do you think- would that have been too mean? But really, I feel like these nurses have no idea what my history is sometimes. I can see that for someone going to this doctor because they haven't been able to get pregnant than yes, it would be exciting and tough to wait to see if you're knocked up. But I've been there, done that three times now. While it will be exciting if it happens, I won't have any kind of sense of relief or reassurance just from getting a positive pregnancy test. I guess all I'd ask is that they out some kind of summary sheet on my chart, just a few lines that people can glance at before they treat me that says, in big letters, HAS HAD 3 MISCARRIAGES. Then at least we would all be on the same page.
Oh, and I'm not actually angry about this now, I'm case that's what it sounded like!
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