Go for it!

 I was thinking last night that I want to remember as my kids get older to balance any cautionary advice with encouragement to pursue big, challenging goals. 

As I’ve told more people about running the marathon I have gotten a lot of “be careful, don’t hurt yourself” and while I know that comes from a good place I also think that most of the people saying it also know that I won’t do anything to put my health in jeopardy. I’d love to also hear some “go for it!” thrown in there too. I imagine that some of the caution stems from me being a woman and a mom and there is at some level an expectation or idea that I shouldn’t be pursuing hard physical challenges. 

I can handle the comments, but I do want to find a way to remind myself to encourage the boys to stay safe but also to push their limits because that is where some amazing growth and perspective happens.

All the snuggles

 Jacob was out of town last weekend and Owen got to have “sleepovers” in my bed - pretty much his favorite thing is to have sleepovers with mom, dad or Mimi (grandma) if we’ll let him.

And despite my wanting a break from the kids and some time to myself I couldn’t say no to the guy and let him sleep there - at least it’s a king size bed!

Owen is for sure our cuddler and always wants time to snuggle with us in bed or on the couch, even though half the time he is a wiggle worm the entire time. I’ll take it for as long as it lasts.

20!!

 I ran 20 miles today. Well, hiked and ran. 3700 feet of elevation too. I don’t think I truly thought even 3 months ago that I could do this. But it’s been a really cool process where I feel like my confidence has built week by week and now I know that the marathon will be challenging but I think I can do it. 

The hardest part of the run today was the first few miles, my lower legs were really tight but I did my best to stay calm and tell myself that it was going to get better once I really got warmed up, which it did. And then miles 9-12 were a bit of a down stretch but then I got to 13,14, and then at 15 it was just 5 to go and the final 5 ticked by pretty quick (the last 1.5 was a bit of a struggle but I mostly expected that. What a cool feeling.

Wild times in the woods

 I ran into a bobcat on my run yesterday. Definitely gave me pause, especially when it didn’t move after I made some noise and tried to “seem big” which is the standard advice. He didn’t seem deterred and kept heading up the trail in the same direction I was headed, so I followed very slowly behind, not wanting him to think he was being chased.

I was scared but also knew that the likelihood that he would hurt me was small, but also wanted to keep in mind that he was a wild animal. Eventually another runner came down the trail toward me and scared the bobcat off into the brush. I watched my surroundings closely for the rest of my run for sure!

Running on the trail has become a really happy place for me and I’m continuously amazed that even when I’m grinding through a long run and my legs are tired I can pass 3 or 4 hours on the trail and feel like it went by in a flash.

I’m in a hurry

I used to sing the song “I’m in a Hurry” by Alabama all the time, I liked the tune. I feel like it sums up life right now where I don’t want to be rushing the days and years by but I feel like there is an endless stream of meals to make and clean up, various items around the house to pick up over and over again, running and exercising, and of course trying to fit in a little quality time and fun with the kids. I know I have it better than most between my work schedule and the help we have with an au pair but man, it is exhausting some days. 

It’s not supposed to be easy

 Every time I head out for a run at some point, usually near the beginning, I think to myself that it’s supposed to feel easier by now. I’ve certainly logged enough miles and built up my strength and endurance but somehow it doesn’t seem to get easier, but instead of letting it bother me I let the thought go. 

I love you more than you know

 I just got back from a short trip to Tahoe with Owen since he had Friday off from school. We were lucky to get to spend time with our friends who are up there a lot and even meet up with one of Owen's classmates to ski with him. It has been a real joy to share the experience of skiing with Owen, we had him in some lessons for the past 2-3 years and this year is the first year he's really been able to get out and about on the mountain, feeling comfortable on blue runs and able to navigate around. Typical to him, he tends to stay in good control and not get too much speed anywhere, but skiing with his friend on Friday he was following and going faster than normal. Afterward he told me "I was going so fast I was scared" but it was just relating the facts, it wasn't "oh my gosh it was scary and I freaked out". I think he was proud of himself for handling the scary part.

And overall it was just fun to spend the time with him. He's so nice to be around and we have these fun little conversations about what he's thinking about. We were sharing a guest bedroom and on Friday night after a really long day he was going to sleep and said "I love you more than you know". That made my heart so full. I told him "I love you more than you can imagine". And then I think he was asleep 2 seconds later.

Challenge builds gratitude?

 Well, I failed right off the bat. I wrote on Wednesday, then on Thursday I did my longest training run yet and then drove up to Tahoe- nothing I can complain about but the time completely got away from me.

But as I was running on Thursday I was thinking a lot about why people seek to do these trail runs and ultra runs, and it made me think that most of the challenges I have encountered in life so far have made me so grateful for what I do have (once I get to the other side). As I went for this long run I was thinking about how hard it was but also how lucky I am to have the chance to go do these long runs, to have both the time and the health, and then to get to do them in such a beautiful place like the Bay Area. I am really enjoying the process of challenging myself with this marathon training, challenging what I think I can do and how far I can go and also how i manage my thoughts during the time.

Time to Re-Set!

 Alright. I haven't posted here in a long time. I could say that it's life that has been busy (which is true) but I think the more honest statement is that I haven't made it a priority to write consistently, in general and on this platform. But I have been feeling lately like I want to make a renewed effort to write, really to capture life at this moment in time because it is so special.

And a lot of what I want to do is to have a record preserved for the boys, for Owen and Charlie, about what they are like now, because they are so precious and so amazing and it is so much fun watching them grow and learn.

Owen is so smart and also so kind and so thoughtful. He loves his little brother so much and it brings me so much joy to watch he and Charlie play together. Owen is a great reader, learning to play chess, taking guitar lessons although not playing consistently, and this year has played soccer, flag football, and baseball and also loves shooting hoops in the backyard. I think whatever sport hs is playing at a given time becomes his favorite. He also wants to help with everything, we are trying to teach him things like basic cooking and doing some chores around the house. Recently he's also been wanting to work out with Jacob a lot, and again we're trying to teach him some basics of using a plyo box and doing some simple footwork.

And Charlie is a fireball at this point, I think part is the age and part his personality, but he is so full of himself and wants to learn about everything, asks "Why?" all the time. He loves to dance and even to sing - recently he busted out singing along to Katy Perry's "Roar" which I thought was hilarious because I didn't know that he knew the words. This kid LOVES food - we were watching a movie the other day and they were eating pizza and he looks at me and says "Mom, I love pizza". Too funny. We just did potty training with him and after the first two weeks being kind of rough he is doing super well with it.

So. My goal here is to write something every day. It is going to be varied - some about kids, some cooking, running, yoga, work, a nice little potpourri.