Motherhood Monotony?

So I will say right off the bat- I love my son so much. His adorable little face and smile and giggle can make my whole day better in about a second. And I love when I get to spend the day with him. So I don't mean for this to sound ungrateful or picky but I just want to get it off my chest. There are days (certainly not every day, but here and there) when it feels like all I do is go from making bottles to cleaning bottles to changing a diaper to folding laundry to shopping for more food to starting the list all over again. I really don't know how stay at home moms or single moms or anyone with a bunch of kids does it. I am in awe of those people and feel like they must have figured out a system that as of now I am completely unaware of.

And again, this is not every day, and it also reminds me that I need to get out- I think that sometimes I get lulled into thinking that a "day at home" sounds great and will be so easy, but then I feel like I waste hours of time just bouncing from one little chore to another because they catch my attention and I want to get them done rather than putting them off for later. And don't get me wrong, that is my problem and I know it! And I am not saying poor me by any stretch. We go out on adventures as a family and I get significant time to do things that I like to do, such as yoga. But it is more that I sometimes just want to take a step back and marvel at the day to day with a kid!

If anything, I wanted to write this to just remind myself to pay more attention to the positive than to the parts that can annoy me, and to remind myself that I would trade any amount of washing bottles or folding laundry for having the privilege of watching Owen grow and develop because it has been such an awesome, amazing thing to be a part of.

2018 Resolutions

2017 was a big year for me. Having Owen certainly changed everything, and he brings me so much joy every day. But having him has also given me a lot of reason to reflect on my life, on how am I living and what I value and how I demonstrate those things through my actions.

And so I am not so much making resolutions to dramatically change my behavior as I want to identify things that I want to work to improve and to ideally better demonstrate the things that I value.

- creating more and consuming less - I find it easy to get sucked into the void of apps or the internet, scrolling or clicking through a lot of content. This post is one example of what I want to do more of- use the internet to interact and engage and force myself to be at least as much of a creator as I am a consumer of this information.

- really pursuing the things I enjoy- this sounds pretty self serving right off the bat but I feel that over the past few years between infertility and then being pregnant I got very hesitant about pursuing anything or even letting myself feel that I wanted to pursue anything. I was always right around the corner from being on a bunch of medication, having to have a procedure, or then trying to take care of myself during my pregnancy. And so this year I want to try and rediscover more of my passions. I have been going to a yoga studio that I really like more regularly and I want to continue to do as many classes and workshops as I can.

- Writing- this ties back to the creating concept but is more specific- I always think that I want to write more but I struggle to actually do it. Today while cleaning up I saw some of the books that I wrote in elementary school- it really struck a nerve that writing is something that I've always been drawn to and so I really do want to commit to doing more of it this year, not with any specific goal in mind but just to enjoy the process and see where it leads me.

So. There are my resolutions. I have no doubt that I will probably fail at these but I'd like to at least try my best and see where it leads me.

Here's to a great 2018!