Here we go.....

On Monday I got the all-clear to start my IVF cycle. I am.....terrified. I had been feeling very apprehensive about things for the past few weeks, and kept trying to figure out why I felt that way. Then I realized that I was just scared, for several reasons. First, I feel like it's a big investment, of both money and time and everything physically that goes into it. Second, in a way I feel like it's our "last shot" in a way, because we have been holding IVF out as sort of our last resort for interventions that can lead to us having our own, biological child. Now, I know that's an over simplification of things because there is certainly a chance that we will end up having another kid naturally in the future. But it's still scary. Because after this, our options become things like surrogates and adoption- and while those are fine options, it would certainly be a mental adjustment from having our own kid.

So, we'll see what happens. I had been on the fence about whether IVF was really the right thing for us to do when I went to the Dr on Monday, but he walked me through an example of a couple he's worked with that similar to us had had several miscarriages, tested normally on genetics themselves, but then when they did IVF ended up with one normally genetic embryo out of nine. That convinced me that IVF is the right path for us, because 1/9 or 1/10 is not great odds to face on our own. So I have my fingers crossed that we end up with more than that, because I would be so nervous about 1) getting pregnant and 2) staying pregnant if that were the case for us. 

Let the shots begin!

Second Opinion??

I have to write a little more about this because it has kind of blown my mind. I wrote in the last post about how Jacob and I had gone to get a second opinion, but the more I have thought about it it's amazing to me how different two opinions can be, with doctors who are both extremely confident about what they do.

When we went through everything 2 weeks ago we had the one surgeon who was completely convinced that I needed a hysteroscopy to clean up from my last D&C, and then my "old" doctor who advised me that he thought the risks involved in having surgery made it a bad decision. In the end, I didn't have surgery, did some other things with my original doctor minimally invasively, and things worked out. That's not to say that things may not have worked out if I had had the surgery; but just scary to think that I could have risked complications at worst or at best had the expense and physical invasiveness of going through another surgery that I didn't really need.

It makes me a little crazy to think that I need to question a lot of what is said but that's hard! And I try to remind myself that if I were dealing with a "serious" health issue things would be different, and I'm fortunate that I'm not, but still adds to the stress and sometimes frustration of the whole thing.