#4

I know I haven't written in a while- there was a while where I didn't know what to write, but things have sort of settled out. In early December I thought that I wasn't pregnant, and Jacob and I were kind of upset that we had done 2 months of treatment without anything working. And I know, 2 months isn't very long, but whenever we tried getting pregnant on our own previously it was fairly quick.

So, after thinking I wasn't pregnant I started feeling funny and so about a week later took a test and guess what? Pregnant. So. We were excited about it, but at the same time I had a pretty high anxiety level about it. We went in just before new years and got an ultrasound with a heartbeat (yay!) but then went back a week and a half later a no heartbeat. So really, the same thing all over again.

I could tell the Dr was really upset for us; he knows how tough it is to go through a miscarriage, even more so when it is our 4th in under 2 years. Surprisingly, although I was certainly upset by how things turned out I think I really did not ever get close to assuming that things would work out. After having problems 3 times before, it's hard for me to wrap my mind around the idea that things would go ok.

Anyways, we are on to the next plan- maximal intervention here- none of us are messing around anymore! Dr things that what we've been seeing is the result of a clotting disorder that we haven't fully diagnosed; I think since we've seen heartbeats in 3 that have then suddenly stopped it points to something happening to arrest the heartbeat. So we're going to do full IVF with genetic screening of the embryos, and then I'll go on a low dose of heparin to try and help with the clotting. And of course, still on the thyroid meds and other vitamins.

We've got a few weeks to wait for healing before we can start all of this, but assuming things go fairly smoothly I hope to be pregnant via IVF by my birthday in early April.

Wish us luck! (and wish my husband luck for dealing with hormonal me!)