Here we go.....

On Monday I got the all-clear to start my IVF cycle. I am.....terrified. I had been feeling very apprehensive about things for the past few weeks, and kept trying to figure out why I felt that way. Then I realized that I was just scared, for several reasons. First, I feel like it's a big investment, of both money and time and everything physically that goes into it. Second, in a way I feel like it's our "last shot" in a way, because we have been holding IVF out as sort of our last resort for interventions that can lead to us having our own, biological child. Now, I know that's an over simplification of things because there is certainly a chance that we will end up having another kid naturally in the future. But it's still scary. Because after this, our options become things like surrogates and adoption- and while those are fine options, it would certainly be a mental adjustment from having our own kid.

So, we'll see what happens. I had been on the fence about whether IVF was really the right thing for us to do when I went to the Dr on Monday, but he walked me through an example of a couple he's worked with that similar to us had had several miscarriages, tested normally on genetics themselves, but then when they did IVF ended up with one normally genetic embryo out of nine. That convinced me that IVF is the right path for us, because 1/9 or 1/10 is not great odds to face on our own. So I have my fingers crossed that we end up with more than that, because I would be so nervous about 1) getting pregnant and 2) staying pregnant if that were the case for us. 

Let the shots begin!